The Problem with Goals
Photo by Ales Krivec on Unsplash
It is quite counter-cultural to question the value of goal-setting in the modern working world. Setting goals and striving to achieve them seems to be the foundation of productivity and success. Without goals, we’re led to believe we will be left spiraling into the nether of anonymity and aimlessness.
The problem with goals is not the desire to move toward the things we value and a life we want. Expanding our horizons, learning what we are capable of, and experiencing the world is what brings richness to life. Instead, the problem with goals is the context in which they arise and their often exclusive focus on attaining some objective, measurable criterion. Indeed, I take issue here with even the SMARTest (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Timely) goals. I believe even the SMARTest goals can be incredibly stupefying.
Think about a goal you have right this moment. Perhaps it is to get to the gym 3 times this week, to drink one fewer cup of coffee today, or to get that work presentation done by Wednesday. While the above list is quite specific, measurable, and time-sensitive, each share a common problem—they are totally insensitive to context. These goals frequently arise in the context of us feeling “fat,” self-indulgent, or lazy. As a result, they are exclusively self-focused, emphasize restriction, and use fear or self-conscious emotions (guilt/shame) to motivate us. Perhaps we feel we’ve not been exercising enough lately, have been drinking too much coffee, or slacking off too much at work. Regardless of the “truthiness” of these things, these goals do not take into context why we have been doing these things. For example, are we depressed, burnt out from work, taking on too many responsibilities in our relationship, affected by trauma, avoiding certain feelings, or any other million potential causes? As a result, these goals end up being stand-ins for larger concerns, and making these goals can actually prevent us from examining root causes. At best such goals are lifeless—at worst they are self-punishing and set up conditions for our worth. It’s perhaps no surprise then that even the most intensive diet and exercise programs, which have tough guidelines and set strict standards, have a nearly 100% return to baseline within 5 years (Brownell, 2010). In this context, goals of restriction only contribute to food/body preoccupation, eating disorders, and offer no replacement behaviors or strategies for what to do when restricting ourselves.
What’s more, even if the goals aren’t focused on restriction (e.g. to get this project done by tomorrow at 5pm), they usually focus on checking off a box and achieving some condition. This inevitably sets us up for failure by suggesting that “when I achieve X, then I will be calm/happy/satisfied.” Unfortunately, due to the human tendency to return to a general set-point of well-being pretty quickly after both positive and negative events (termed the hedonic treadmill), the brief joy we might receive after “checking the goal box” is not enough to motivate long-term change. Indeed, it is often the case that we are no more happy when we finally get that perfect body, don’t drink that cup of coffee, or finish that project.
So, what do we do? First, it can be helpful to take a step back anytime we find ourselves setting goals in the first place. What is driving my desire to do X less/more? Is it fear, guilt, shame, self-punishment for “bad behavior,” or other negative emotions? Knowing that these emotions are very poor long-term motivators can help prevent us from engaging on a fools errand. Next, is there a positive, experiential goal within the restrictive, objective goal you initially crafted, or one you can replace it with? For example, do you love the outdoors and the experience of seeing an amazing vista at the top of a hike? Your goal to exercise more might instead become embodied movement, focusing on having new experiences of the sights, sounds, and smells of the outdoors. In other words, we should emphasize goals that are living and breathing and cannot be achieved (rather than checking a box), focus on the quality of our relationship with the world (rather than self-focused), and motivated by involvement, love, joy, growth, or a larger vision (rather than fear). These goals are sensitive to the context in which they arise and are compassionate to the person making them. They help you live fully, meaningfully, and grow to who you want to become. They do not restrict, limit, or punish you. And ultimately, they work.